It's been really fun doing these little pieces. I usually put on a movie that I've been meaning to watch but never got around to, and just play around with my paints and pastels. In the previous post, I made one of the blue pieces while watching Ponyo, and for this post's yellow piece, I watched The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time. Lovely film :)

"Hush, now."

8x5.5 in.

"Blue with stripes, a portrait."

7.5x11in.

"Go ahead."

8x5.5in.

I've been telling my friends and family in the past few months after graduating that I think I want to leave the animation world behind. But I'm not so sure it'll let me. I think I'm still struggling with what happened in the production of my graduation film, haha.

Whatever happens, it's an amazing, crazy labor-intensive, usually collaborative art form. 

Wish the U.S. didn't dismiss it as a children/family "genre." Genre is category of subject matter.

Animation is an art form. It can express ANY genre, and sometimes it's most effective in dealing with heavy subject matter because it allows you to be subtle and abstract. 

Anyways, it's just really disheartening to see people in their late 30's and 40's who are still struggling to be a professional animator, still clinging on for their big break. They work their whole lives trying to stick to it in the "system," while becoming jaded and bitter that they've never been able to really make the film they've always wanted to. The way they talk, it's like there's this big knot in them, and it can't be undone. I don't want to be like that. To be honest, I really dislike like 90% of the animation that gets produced in the U.S. But I've always been sort of outside the popular opinion. And at the end of the day, something has to sell. That way more things can be produced.

I wonder if I'd rather get a day job that I feel useful and appreciated in and then make work that I really want to make in my spare time. People say it's really easy to let it slide and never get to your own work.

And others say that doing professional work in the commercial world can really help inform your personal work, too. 

But why do they talk with so much frustration.

This post is getting real long, but I'm almost done. 

The thing about doing art, is that I let myself get caught up in the idea of success and recognition. I thought if I worked hard, that was enough. 

But you know, that's not why artists choose to be artists.

I always wanted to learn how to make animation, and I did. I've gotten the very basics now. I realize now that it's not the technical animation that I love, but creating a feeling, an experience.

And that's enough, isn't it?

while I am swimming alongside my year-mates in the sea of unemployment and generalized floundering, I have made these things! All are acrylic, chalk pastel, and charcoal pencil on cardboard. Seeing as I can't be splurging on nice paper, and I have a lot of cardboard boxes lying around from the recent move..........

working with my hands is the absolute best feeling. it feels weird to say it like I hadn't really known, because I definitely realized it sometime during school.

I don't know if it's selfish or stubborn of me for thinking that I can get a job that fulfills the creative itch some day.

for now i just need to find some kind of. employment. 

the masses weren't kidding when they said it's gonna be a rough first three years out of school HAHA.

GAMBATTE EVERYONE.

day 3 in brooklyn!
job hunting is as harrowing as they say.

i've been developing two story ideas, one dark, and one cute. i think i need both to keep my brain entertained, lol.

the above character has no name, and doesn't speak. i think in his story there will be no text, and no color.

i have named the above characters Gochi, Nimo, and Ko, who live in Tojii. still tweaking their designs and color, not quite there yet. but minus Ko who doesn't talk, they are lively and chatty. Tojii is extremely colorful.

I have been thinking about painting a lot. and felting, haha.

it is time for a new post! this one's super wordy. scroll to the bottom to skip to the new drawings ^^

for the month of September I traveled to South Korea with my mom :) Somehow it had already been 9 years since my last visit. Did a lot of things, saw a lot of things, met family members I hadn't seen in a long time. I'm really glad I went. I haven't organized all the photos from the trip yet, so that'll be another post. My trip can be summed up in these words: food, mountains, dragonflies, and weird family dynamics, lol.

But big news! I'm making the move to Brooklyn in less than a week, joining a handful of my classmates and a lot of alumni. No, I don't have concrete plans, but I'm determined to try a lot of things and meet a lot of people. Try to figure out what it is I can do. How to make money! Haha. *sob* I'm interested in a lot of things...different kinds of puppet fabrication, set fabrication, visual/concept design, children's book illustration, 3D illustration. But I'm not quite good at one thing, so. I'm hoping through experiencing different "jobs," I can start to funnel my skillset into something marketable.
There are a couple things that are consistent across my work, though...whatever medium it is. I place a huge emphasis on color, and character. I find the details of a small moment just as fascinating and important as an entire story.
I LOVE watching detailed character animation, but DOING it is another beast. It's just. so. difficult, lol.

Anyways! So I've always enjoyed using chalk pastels, but my first real attempts began sometime in sophomore year, for fun. My roommate had a new box and gave them to me. That summer I took a children's book illustration class, and used pastels to do some of the assignments. Then junior year happened.....that was a crazy nightmare lol. Used pastels for my graduation film's visual development. In the middle of senior year I was so stressed that I sought out my pastels again as a kind of mental break from the frenzy of trying to make my graduation film. Ended up using pastels in the film itself. For one of my last semester painting assignments, I used pastels again.
and on my Korea trip, I packed my pastels. You never know.

I wrote all of that because I don't know what it is about them, but I don't fight them like I do with pencil. I think it's because it's similar to sculpture? You have to push the material around; it's very physical, yet forgiving. It's hard to be very detailed with pastels from the getgo because it'll get covered up anyway, so your brain doesn't even think about details when you begin.

Two new recent drawings. Each is about the size of a large hand.
this one I tried combining with charcoal pencil.

heavily influenced by Joe Sorren, a contemporary painter. I absolutely love, love his work. joesorrenart.com

it's alive!

website is good to go! gogogo! TOOK FOREVER.

an update

website resdesign, woo!!! i've been working on it pretty diligently for a little over a week. the address is the same, but instead of using a blogger template, i'm using weebly.com to help me build all the things.
i'm hoping that i can publish it by saturday! all that's left is making the drawings for navigation icons, haha.
i'm really excited, i've put a lot of thought into it. my skills are pretty limited, but luckily there was a super clean template on weebly that gives me just enough flexibility to get creative with the organization.
i find that my best work comes from problem solving within strict limitations. *sigh* haha.
anyways! here is an image preview; i will post when the new site design is published. slightly worried about redirecting the domain name thingy (i always get flustered when i'm dealing with this kind of stuff HAHA), but weebly is so helpful and user friendly, i think i will be okay ^^

also, here are some drawings i've cleaned up to put on my website. you'll recognize the yellow monster. i've sort of grown attached to him after two years, haha. 

finished this in photoshop. the original sketch for it is in the previous post. i've liked fauns since i was little, probably when i first watched fantasia as a tiny child, lol. harpies, centaurs, fairies, etc.

i guess i should try to put in a background? nothing crazy, just a nice suggestion of trees/woods.

i hope i don't ruin it, lol. i'm not very good at backgrounds, but it does look a bit empty.

i'm thinking about how i first used photoshop 3 years ago as i began sophomore year. and oh GOD it was so terrible HAHA. 

a photo post to follow soon.