It's been really fun doing these little pieces. I usually put on a movie that I've been meaning to watch but never got around to, and just play around with my paints and pastels. In the previous post, I made one of the blue pieces while watching Ponyo, and for this post's yellow piece, I watched The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time. Lovely film :)

"Hush, now."

8x5.5 in.

"Blue with stripes, a portrait."

7.5x11in.

"Go ahead."

8x5.5in.

I've been telling my friends and family in the past few months after graduating that I think I want to leave the animation world behind. But I'm not so sure it'll let me. I think I'm still struggling with what happened in the production of my graduation film, haha.

Whatever happens, it's an amazing, crazy labor-intensive, usually collaborative art form. 

Wish the U.S. didn't dismiss it as a children/family "genre." Genre is category of subject matter.

Animation is an art form. It can express ANY genre, and sometimes it's most effective in dealing with heavy subject matter because it allows you to be subtle and abstract. 

Anyways, it's just really disheartening to see people in their late 30's and 40's who are still struggling to be a professional animator, still clinging on for their big break. They work their whole lives trying to stick to it in the "system," while becoming jaded and bitter that they've never been able to really make the film they've always wanted to. The way they talk, it's like there's this big knot in them, and it can't be undone. I don't want to be like that. To be honest, I really dislike like 90% of the animation that gets produced in the U.S. But I've always been sort of outside the popular opinion. And at the end of the day, something has to sell. That way more things can be produced.

I wonder if I'd rather get a day job that I feel useful and appreciated in and then make work that I really want to make in my spare time. People say it's really easy to let it slide and never get to your own work.

And others say that doing professional work in the commercial world can really help inform your personal work, too. 

But why do they talk with so much frustration.

This post is getting real long, but I'm almost done. 

The thing about doing art, is that I let myself get caught up in the idea of success and recognition. I thought if I worked hard, that was enough. 

But you know, that's not why artists choose to be artists.

I always wanted to learn how to make animation, and I did. I've gotten the very basics now. I realize now that it's not the technical animation that I love, but creating a feeling, an experience.

And that's enough, isn't it?